Toronto Narrative

A little while ago…

I was a door-to-door canvasser in the city of Toronto. I worked on behalf of a third-party fundraising organization, notably with CAMH towards the reconstruction of their facilities (I was kindly told, many years ago by one of the executives with the hospital, that I was a brick or two of the foundation of the space you see now)

I worked in all seasons, early-day-to-late-night, walked down every street several times over, & knocked on every single door. I’ve been out there in torrential downpour, blowing snow & 30 below & in hot burning sunshine, still pirouetting off of every porch regardless of height or environmental condition. I had the pleasure & privilege to get to know a lot of you. To hear your stories - sometimes with joy, sometimes of heartbreak.

I kept a journal during those years & using our shared memories, I began to craft several stories from the experience. More spark than detail - I don’t think it’s my business to tell your secrets. You planted a seed of an idea in my head & here we are, with what we’ve grown.

I’ve seen & known this city in a way few get the opportunity to experience. We’ve talked - really talked. I wasn’t going to knock on someone’s door with a rehearsed, dishonest pitch ‘cause I would find it exhausting to be so, when the opportunity for true, genuine connection was there.

We’re told to mirror so I didn’t want to encourage a lie in the reflection. And yes, I learned this city is quite generous when you drop the charade & talk with, not at. I suppose by working measurement, I was exceptional at the job.

I know what’s missing, here. I wouldn’t want to provide too much context to the ‘why’ of this. And it’s not because I’d want to spoil the surprise - I just think we feel a lot of the same things & it’s best not to tell you reason, but demonstrate. You’re still longing for something that you seem to be losing & I consider it a privilege to demonstrate how we can grieve & yet, reclaim.

This will be a low-budget audio-drama style presentation. Though we’re starting small with monologue or eulogy, I have to be a little more enthusiastic in pushing this forward even if in the technical, we’re not fully ready.

A person I love a great deal is dying & I’m hoping that with launching now, even as we’re still preparing the live broadcasts & getting all the equipment to produce old-school radio drama, the outreach now somehow helps save their life.

I hope you read & listen. More, I hope you save.

(This place? is worth it)

2024-11-11

Roncesvalles 2013

Logged transmission - 6926 kHz - in the Summer of 2013, in the neighbourhood of Roncesvalles, in the city of Toronto, a pirate signal of memory begins to transmit.

written & performed by r. ladha.

Toronto Eulogies

We say goodbye to some of the places & some of the souls that have existed in Toronto (sometimes with the deepest of care, sometimes not so much with kindness) Grieving demands occasional blistering.